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'Never, never, never trust a Tory' was the infamous tweet from the bishop of St Davids.
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Do you find this funny?
“THIS WAS NOMINATED FOR BEST JOKE OF THE YEAR - WORTH SHARING
A Somalian arrives in London as a new immigrant to the UK .
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says ........ 'Thank you Mr. British for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'
The passer by says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican!'
The man goes on and encounters another passer by. 'Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in the UK !'
The person says, 'I not British, I Polish!'
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful Britain !'
That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Russia , I am not from Britain !'
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you a British?'
She says, 'No, I am from Africa !'
Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the British?'
The African lady checks her watch and says ...'Probably at work'
IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS YOU WILL RECEIVE THREE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ABSOLUTELY FREE”
In the old days we may have heard a joke like this in the Music Halls or on television. Nowadays they are circulated on the internet or by mobile phone texts.
Intrigued to discover the origin of its nomination for best joke of the year a quick ‘Google’ showed that it had been circulated widely on the internet, especially on alternative humour sites. Then I discovered a report in the Guardian that two Tory councillors had been suspended over “racist email” for sending the joke to Tory MPs. Here are some paragraphs from the report:
“Two Tory councillors have been suspended from the party after sending a racist joke to an email list including Ribble Valley Tory MP Nigel Evans, the mayor of South Ribble, and fellow Conservative councillors. Simon Farnsworth, a Ribble Valley councillor, sent the joke on to Ken Hind, his fellow councillor and a former Tory parliamentary candidate in Selby and Lancashire West at the 1997 and 1992 elections. Hind then sent it on to a long list of Tories, including Evans; DW Parkinson, the mayor of South Ribble; and other South Ribble and Ribble Valley councillors.
A Tory spokesman said: "Simon Farnsworth and Ken Hind have been suspended from the Party. The contents of this email have no place in the Conservative party." Hind said he apologised to "all those people from the nations mentioned in the joke. It was not my intention to insult their racial origins, and I deeply regret passing on this item as I recognise now that it could cause offence." He added: "In my daily life I deal with many people of different racial origins in our diverse community and in our relationships get on well with them. I deprecate those who are racist. On many occasions I have been outspoken in my condemnation of those who incite racial hatred and am committed to developing an integrated tolerant community in which all races creeds and religions live side by side in peace.
"I am privileged to name amongst my friends and associates many who are of Asian or African origin. I wish to emphasise that any apparent insult or criticism contained in the joke does not reflect my views or those of the Conservative party." Farnsworth has also been contacted for comment but had not responded at the time of publication. David Eccleston, who received the email by mistake and passed it to the Guardian, said that many people thought David Cameron "seems like a nice guy and he seems to care", but "these jokes bring you back to Earth with a bang because you realise that behind Cameron's call for 'change' are the same old nasty Conservative party – and that's not change." ”
The Guardian was not shy about printing the joke.
In the General Election, Immigration was identified as one of the main issues that bothered the electorate with varied perceptions of the benefits and problems. Humour has traditionally been used as a legitimate tool for dealing with problems but in this politically correct society we appear to have lost the ability to laugh at ourselves. When was the last time you had a really good laugh? Have you heard the one about the Scotsman, Welshman and the Irish man…..? Not anymore. Such traditional humour has been killed for political correctness and not just by having to say ‘person’. The basis of ‘humour’ these days has shifted to the use of four letter words such as ****, ****, and even ****.
What a joke.
If the Tory candidate for Blackburn unseats the Secretary of State for Justice in the coming election the Conservative whip is not the whip he deserves..
The Telegraph reports today that he circulated a leaflet, now withdrawn on the orders of HQ, which challenges Labour’s claim to serve the Muslim vote.
It says:
‘“We cannot be deceived by their hollow claims. We have in front of us a whole saga of atrocities committed in Iraq, in Afghanistan, in Palestine and as if this was not enough, the Labour government allowed the Israeli government to create havoc in Lebanon and Gaza in Palestine, destroying their infrastructure and killing and maiming thousands of innocent civilians. The Labour government did nothing, absolutely nothing for a number of days while the Israelis carried on their inhuman killing of innocent men, women and children.”
It accuses Jack Straw, who is the MP for Blackburn, of insulting “our religion and culture and…our sisters and mothers” by refusing to hold meetings with women constituents wearing a full veil. “We should not forget that today they are criticising our women’s(sic) veil, tomorrow it will be our caps and our beards they will attack,” the pamphlet declares.
It goes on to urge a vote for Mr Law-Riding ‘if you want to see an end to unnecessary and very expensive wars, shedding of innocent blood and save Britain from bankruptcy.”’
It is not just the leaflet that should have been withdrawn. This is not the sort of person who should represent us in British politics.
Once again I allowed myself to become irritated by watching Question Time on Thursday. It was like a repeat of the Carol Vorderman show in drag with that offensive little pip-squeak David Starkey ranting from a similar Tory election script. Whilst I welcome a variety of opinions (within reason) such tirades become wearisome especially when formed from a narrow historical perspective. Some will recall his 2009 dismissal of the Scottish, Welsh and Irish nations as ‘feeble’. People in glass houses….
Much was made by most of the panel, and the Chairman of course, of the links between the Labour party and its trade union sponsor Unite as a result of its dispute with British Airways. That was fair game but what are we to make of the report that the Tories have forced the BBC to drop their intensive investigation into the affairs of Lord Ashcroft in the run up to the general election? Can the implication be that they have something to hide? So much for transparency and balance.
David Cameron’s plan to impose a tax on banks to repay the billions used to bail out financial institutions is most welcome as is Alistair Darling’s expected Government support for a global bank tax. Whoever wins the next election and by whatever means, someone needs to do something about these greedy bankers.
On Friday, 26th February I blogged on the Vulture funds which profiteer by buying up the debts of heavily indebted poor countries cheaply then seek to recover the full amounts, thus depriving the very poorest people in the world of the basic necessities of life while they wallow in the riches of their ill-gotten gains.
After slowing the Debt Relief (Developing Countries) Bill in its Second Reading it failed to pass its Third reading in Parliament when a single Conservative MP objected:
http://www.jubileedebtcampaign.org.uk/ACTION%201:%20Who%20Killed%20the%20Vultures%20Bill%3F+5572.twl
Coming from a party in which it has been estimated that two-thirds of the shadow cabinet are millionaires this block looks more than insensitive. No understanding of poverty perhaps?
On the right was the blond bomb-shelled Mayor of London, Boris, boosting buffoonery to new heights. One may have thought him the most disastrous representative of the Tory Party but worse was to come in the shape of their now red-headed Maths advisor, Carole Vorderman. I must admit she looked fantastic, especially for a woman pushing fifty; a real tribute to the make-up department. When she put on her scholarly spectacles she looked every inch the boyhood dream of the perfect school mistress only lacking a 12” rule in her hand.
Perhaps oddly placed on the far right was the self effacing ‘say it as it is’ Will Self who these days reminds me of Melanie Phillips. Not for looks which are a slight improvement but for her Zionist outburst on a previous show in 2001 when, if my memory serves me correctly, she described Will as a disgrace to Judaism (his mother was Jewish) for daring to disagree with her.
This time it was Carole’s performance that stole the show. I thought I may have been uncharitable, perhaps influenced by her much criticised high interest TV adverts which appeared to target the poor and needy, until yesterday when I stumbled upon an on-line article in the New Statesman (I have now added their Blog as an antidote to Cranmer for fear of being labelled) which not only mirrored my views but which attracted a large number of comments from the like minded.
Mr Dimbleby the Chairman never tires of telling his audience that the panel has no idea of the questions they are about to be asked but that doesn’t stop panellists preparing briefing notes, so comprehensive in Ms Vorderman’s case that on one occasion during her diatribe she appeared to have lost her place. Even the audience appeared embarrassed by her performance, no mean feat where extremist views are far from uncommon. As she snatched the pillock prize from an increasingly baffled looking Boris I concluded that, after all the furore of the parliamentary expenses row, this was to be the launching pad for a new political career. Surely something the Tory party would now be desperate to avoid. The Monster Raving Loony Party perhaps?
But the big question now is Has Question Time had its day? Despite some of the potty people who pander to popular public opinion it still provides an increasingly rare forum for public debate. So time for a change? My suggestion is that Mr Dimbleby gives up his public platform (with notes) and spends more time with his Land Rover travelling around Britain to bring us more programmes such his admirable Seven Ages of Britain. Any nominations for a replacement?
To put it mildly, the admission after ten year’s speculation that the Tory Party’s billionaire bank-rolling Deputy Chairman is non-domiciled for tax purposes must be as welcome to them as a sack full of manure breaking on the steps of Central Office.
Even the ‘Tory Party at Prayer’, the dear old Church of England, is without honour as it slips further into decline, breaking its promise of an honoured place for dissenting groups within their ranks as religion gives way to political correctness and feminist ideology in the guise of equality.
As Lord Carey told a meeting in the House of Lords: “Christianity, which has given so much to our country, is now being sidelined as never before as though it is a stranger to our nation”.
Decline is sad but without honour...
The conference arranged by the Secretary of State for Health to help build a consensus on plans to pay for care of the elderly has been branded a “political stunt” by his Tory counterpart. Their preferred option was for a stunt involving a 'R.I.P. Off ' poster campaign to frighten people into believing that a no vote for them would result in a £20,000 “death tax”.
“Political Stunt” 1 – Tory Stunt 0. Time for a real consensus please.