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Thursday, 3 January 2013

SCREWTAPE PROPOSES AN EPISCOPAL TOAST

First posted By David W. Virtue
www.virtueonline.org 
January 1, 2013

SCREWTAPE PROPOSES AN EPISCOPAL TOAST (20) 
With apologies to C.S. Lewis

My Dear Wormwood,

2012. What a year. Once again Americans confused license with freedom and their gadarene slide towards us continues at even greater speed. The president now says he believes in Gay marriage, with the whole LGBTQI agenda being pushed in every state and promoted in nearly all the major Protestant denominations is sweet music to our Father's ears. Make sure the gay Washington lobbies have pots of money to keep the political pressure on.....

....But, on to business. We were shocked to learn that Rowan Williams' replacement is an evangelical cut from the ALPHA, Carey, and Coggan mold. This is a disastrous turn of events. That the Queen gave ol' Rowan a life peerage and that he will henceforth be known as Baron Williams of Oystermouth had our father in stitches. OYSTERMOUTH for Hell's sake. Our Father hates it when the British outdo themselves with their dark irony and sardonic humor. What a black pearl Williams turned out to be.

This Welby fellow, however, poses a serious threat to our final takeover and co-opting of Western Anglicanism. We almost had it in the bag with the Church of England. Endless talk of social justice, women bishops, and sodomy...it was all moving in our direction when then this geeky looking oil executive comes along and says he actually believes in HIM. Our Father was apoplectic and was heard to rage around hell, so much so that even his closest minions quivered and quaked for days. Now he has calmed down a bit and is working on a new strategy to undermine Welby. There are some here who are saying we overplayed our hand. If so, we must work harder to change that....

...Make sure they never compromise, Wormwood. Make sure words like "generous orthodoxy", inclusivity, and diversity are buzzwords embedded in their brains till death do them part. Make sure the constant whine of pansexualists yelling "justice" and "rights" is constantly in the forefront of liberal and moderate bishops thinking; morality be damned. Make sure the constant shrill cry of lesbians like [the Rev.] Susan Russell is heard in all their ears and they feel her pain. We don't want a repeat of South Carolina....

Read it all here

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