WANTED!

public spirited, second class (rail) citizens prepared to work anti-social hours, usually away from home, with non-negotiable salary and restricted allowances, interested in an unique opportunity to help run other people’s lives.

Provided you are not a peer of the realm, ‘established’ clergyman or a complete lunatic (other restrictions may apply) with £500 to spare and you are a British, Commonwealth or Irish citizen you could consider election as a Member of Parliament for one of the 646 seats in the forthcoming General Election.

You must be over 18 years of age and be nominated by ten parliamentary electors of the constituency in which you wish to stand. By not submitting yourself to the rigours of any political party selection process you would be an Independent candidate joining other do-gooders with disparate ideas and no cohesive policy for restoring Britain’s greatness.

If you are an independent-minded eligible person who has not been certified insane and you have no hope of a peerage just find ten eligible voters to nominate you. Others, especially female candidates, may wish to apply to the Church of England where few restrictions appear to apply.